Saturday, April 17, 2010

When Pastonjee died!

"Come down man Jehangir, early morning doing lot of kit-kit. Come soon or they will come up. Now early morning I dont want police jhamela at my door step when Navroje is on the head."

"Dont scream at me. You must have done something. Thats why police is here. Otherwise they have no work or what? That they come early morning  to peoples building and looking at the tamasa. Shamelessly having affair. Beggeting shame to my family. Good I stopped being your husband a year back. Mehnaaz is also embarrassed of you. Break off those red bangles..."

"What man Jehangir, now dont say like that. You are still my husband hanh! I was doing no affair shaffair. I've told you many times. He is my mama ka ladka. My brother. We benefited so much. Dint you see.

"What benefit?? God knows the lift had to die this week only. Always have to climb up and down 6 floors. Today, Sunday also no santi!!! Climb down 6 floors to meet the police. All because of you. And Frenny it was only you who benefited in all kinds. Saala I should've never married you in the first place. When you die I wont even offer four day prayers for you at the Doongerwadi. Mark my words. No vulture will consume you. Maybe that Pesi can come down in some form to have you."

"Jehangir, mind ur zabaan. What are you saying? Who do we have except each other? We will worry about my death and prayers later. I'm sure you will die first. Worry about urself. If you fight with me I wont conduct the prayers. Now spit the anger off me and direct it towards that chudail and her daughter outside. And be good to the police. Please. See we are on the ground floor. Shoo."

"Rani Frenny has walked down from her palatial palace. My God. What guts you have you saali-gutter-nu-rani. I dont know what was wrong with Pesi. If he fell for your daughter I could still understand and take it with a bitter emoson. That he fell for a young chokri. But you! Walk like a penguin, looks like a drum and thobda like its forgotten to take a wash for years."

"Yes Inspector, myself Frenny Mistry and this is my husband of 30 years Jehangair Mistry. What happened? Why is this bhopoo belching and making tamasa? We all stay in a society. It does not look nice na."

"Saali telling me I'm doing tamasa?? Tamasa jovu chhe?? I will do tamasa now. What society you are talking about? You run a randi-khana in the open. Soliciting innocent Parsi men, defrauding their property and wealth. Even after they are dead. You thought nobody will notice money going away every month from the bank after Pesi's death? That is why I put police behind ur fat gandu."

"Arrey he gave me the cheques. All postdated. I had given him loan. 2 lakh rupees. He issued cheques to return the money. There is no fraud Inspector. Ask her to leave and please let us be. Fokat nu kit-kit. Even ur Pesi would call you that. And he used to come for tea and Pallonjee's Rasberry cola. That means every tapri  or Irani cafe in Bombay is a randi khana or what?? And he came on his own will. Nobody asked him to come. Its a different thing you dint keep him happy. Always cluckking like a murgi. Now you go or tomorrows Jaam-e-Jamsad will have your kartoots on first page. Ive told my Mehnu to record everything from 6th floor with photographs. She has top view. Not like your daughter standing like a mute spectator to everything. Go away now."

"She wont go, neither will you. All of us will go to the police station and settle it there. I think enough gaali-galoch you've given each other in your Bawa language. The society people must've got their sunday paisaa vasool from you both ladies. Now come over to the police station. Each one of you."


  1. i want to know what happened afterwards! excellent narrative ;)

  2. @ M.
    It was just a casual narrative venturing into the talks on Parsee's on Bombay. I'm afraid I havent thought about it as a whole story.